As I was doing some research to prepare for my upcoming online program, BE the Change - Transformation through Fearless Self-Care, I came across this Psychology Today article entitled ‘It’s Time for Radical Self-Care’. The premise that self-care is radical arises because we are taught and expected to take care of others first and put ourselves last.
This is especially true if you’re a parent, guardian or care-giver. And during the past year, taking care of others was highlighted even more as we strived to support and help each other through a novel pandemic, social injustices and political mayhem (all of which we are still having to do.)
Given all this, the idea of taking care of yourself first and foremost may indeed seem radical. But as the article explains “you have to take care of yourself first, or you can’t take care of anyone else”. Many of us have probably already heard this before… it’s the proverbial airplane example of needing to first put on your own oxygen mask before assisting anyone else with their’s.
The article offers 6 things that we can do to practice radical self-care including getting enough sleep, taking time off of social media, and getting some movement every day. As far as I’m concerned, choosing to do any of these things are hardly radical. However, they're all great suggestions for those who feel guilty for taking time for themselves and/or aren’t sure how to even get started with self-care. But the articles' suggestions only scratch the surface.
For true Self-care - the kind that enables us to feel resilient, be authentic, and continuously fuels our capacity to take care of others - we must be fearless. Why?
- Because transformative Self-care is not focused on escaping.
- Because it takes confidence to nurture yourself even though it may be viewed as selfish.
- Because we need to be brave to ‘call ourselves out’ when we repeat the same thoughts and behaviors that don’t serve us.
- Because it takes courage to forgive ourselves for mistakes and poor judgments which get in the way of our peace of mind.
From my experience in coaching clients as well as my own practice of “living my yoga”, I have found that there are 3 key aspects to fearless Self-care:
- Self-awareness
- Self-acceptance
- Self-love
Self-awareness
So many of us go through life without even realizing that we are harming ourselves. We don’t have any awareness that we may be enabling the poor posture that is at the root of our chronic tension. We aren’t aware of our negative self-talk and thought patterns that prevent us from feeling good. We don’t realize that within the confines of flesh and bone and thoughts and beliefs, we are spiritual beings with infinite potential. To effectively and efficiently take care of ourselves, we must first be fully aware of ourSelves.
“The first step of change is to become aware of your own bullshit.” — Source unknown
Self-acceptance
As we become more and more aware of ourSelves, it is also important that we accept ourSelves. This is usually a greater challenge than gaining Self-awareness because it involves coming to terms with those parts of ourselves that we may not like, but that are part of our human condition. Self-acceptance requires unconditionality. We accept our gifts and weaknesses, our good traits as well as bad habits, our lightness and our darkness.
“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” — Carl Rogers, Humanistic Psychologist
Self-Love
The expanding awareness and acceptance of ourSelves as both material and spiritual beings eventually leads us to loving ourSelves. This, of course, has nothing to do with pride or ego and is the ultimate form of Self-care. This Self-love is a state of being where we acknowledge our worthiness, our completeness, our wholeness. We recognize the Source within us which enables us to offer true compassion, care and love to others.
“I was looking for someone to inspire me, motivate me, support me, keep me focused… Someone who would love me, cherish me, make me happy, and I realized all along that I was looking for myself.” – Source unknown
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I invite you to make 2021 a year of ‘Transformation through Fearless Self-Care’ by joining me in a 6-week online program beginning Sat Jan 16th. We will explore each of the 3 aspects of fearless Self-care that I described above through yoga practice, various Self-care tools & techniques, interactive discussion and home practice suggestions.
If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me. And if you’re ready to ‘BE the Change’, I encourage you to visit my JOIN page and register today.