First, I want to say that it's okay to feel scared.
As a global community we are experiencing an unprecedented challenge having ramifications into many aspects of our lives, not only now but also into our future. The default human response to uncertainty and the unknown is fear. And so I say again, it's okay to feel scared.
The question to ask ourselves in the face of fear is "How do I want to BE?" And here are the 3 basic choices:
- I can succumb to the fear and allow it to occupy my mind, overwhelm my nervous system, and lower my immunity.
- I can ignore the fear, brush it 'under the rug' and simply go on behaving as I have always behaved.
- I can acknowledge the fear, see how it is informing me about myself, and then make choices to move in the desired direction.
The first two don't think require much elaboration . I believe we all can relate to them because we've probably experienced the first two options at some point in our lives (I know I have!)
Of course, choice #3 is what we strive for. It's the choice that requires a commitment to paying attention and being mindful on a daily basis, which can be challenging on its own, let alone when we are in the midst of a pandemic! But especially now, it is what is necessary and what we are called to do.
So allow me to expand on this a bit more. Fear is the root of all the so-called 'negative' or lower vibration emotions... hopelessness, doubt, anger, etc. That being said, all of these emotions are absolutely necessary and part of the human experience.
When we speak about staying positive and practicing positive thinking, people often misunderstand and fall into option #2 above, which of course is unhelpful. What IS helpful and the first step toward understanding and processing our negative emotions is to acknowledge them.
Say to yourself, "I am feeling scared, upset, angry, confused, etc..." Label your emotion as something you are FEELING rather than something your are. You are NOT scared, but you are feeling scared. You are NOT angry, but you are feeling angry... etc. This detaches us from the emotion so that we don't identify with it. This in itself will help us feel a bit better.
Secondly, realize that our negative emotions inform us about how we truly want to feel. I'll give you an example that we've recently either heard about or experienced. We go to the grocery store in preparation to stay home for an extended period of time and see that ALL the toilet paper has been sold out. We may feel angry and confused about the fact that some people felt the need to hoard these supplies.
The common reaction is often option #1 above. We take our anger and spread it by complaining to anyone who will listen and denouncing all the perpetrators! But instead, what if we...
- acknowledged the anger ("I am really feeling angry about this! It's not fair."),
- took a handful of smooth, deep breaths to recenter ourselves,
- and then asked ourselves, "Is this how I want to feel? How do I really want to BE right now?"
I think most of us would answer, "No, I don't want to feel angry. Staying angry doesn't help the situation or put toilet paper on the shelf right now. I'd rather BE at ease with myself and others. I would like there to BE more compassion, sharing and camaraderie." With this questioning, we also remind ourselves that while we can't control others, we can always start with ourselves.
When we stop to think about our feelings rather than just give in to them, we can see that our 'negative' emotions actually highlight how we don't want to be and shed light on how we DO want to BE. And while the anger may not completely diminish right away, this process can help us to make good choices and wiser decisions to move us in our desired direction.... in this case, to feel at ease and experience greater compassion and camaraderie.
Perhaps we may even take a few moments to visualize people coming together to share what they have and supporting each other through difficulties. This is a great way to not only feel better in the moment, but to send a broader intention out into our global energy field.
And so our fears of the future most probably will not completely subside as new things continue to unfold each day, but each time we acknowledge the fear and use it to remind ourselves of how we truly want to be instead -- courageous, confident, capable, etc. -- we lay the groundwork to actually BE those things. We receive the impetus to take that courageous action, make that confident choice, or behave in a capable manner.
Fear and its related emotions won't be going away any time soon. But we can understand and utilize them productively to rise to the occasion and become who we really want to BE... as individuals and as a society.